Kim Jong Un (Complete v4) by schtruklyn

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Kim Jong Un (Complete v4)

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Kim Jong Un is a threatening specialist. He specializes in threatening. However, 1 out of 10 of his empty threats turns out to be a real danger and does cool damage. However, none knows when will his empty threat become a real threat, not even Kim Jong Un. But once his threat becomes a real danger, the damage is huge! How huge? Kim Jong Un's nuclear missiles damage everything in a radius for 1000 hit-points! Also, friendlies in the zone are issued cheap plastic sun-glasses, so all friendly units on the battlefield are immune to radiation now! Yay!

Kim Jong Un moves slowly and has a melee auto-attack that does 1 damage. "Harro, I will kirr you!"

Kim Jong Un is the Supyeme Leadey, so he reigns over all nations on Earth, it's just that no-one has figured it out yet. Such is the power of Kim Jong Un's espionage and propaganda! Therefore, Kim Jong Un reigns over Blizzard too, making him the number one hero in the Blizzard universe!

Kim Jong Un!

Kim Jong Un!

Wait, no, this is not Kim Jong Un, it's the only lady from TV...

Combat Trait

I Told You It Woyks!

One out of ten attempts at actually killing anything will actually work! Yes, this is Kim Jong Un's trait, it's not a curse, it's a good thing. Without this trait, 0 out of 10 attempts at actually killing anything would work!

"When device fails, it makes a funny noise though!"

Primary Abilities

Nucalar Assault

Kim Jong Un fires a nuclear missile, which he just pulled out of his fat ***. Long range. Missile has 90% chance at random to simply crack up in mid flight and fall harmlessly to the ground and decompose into duct tape and Gramma's Jelly. Missile may fail at any point of the flight randomly.

However, when a missile reaches the ground successfully, the explosion is huge!

Missiles travel rather slowly, so enemies can avoid them fairly easily. The area of effect is fairly large though, so... Is it real or not? The area of impact is clearly drawn on map and on the ground for everyone to witness the might of Kim Jong Un! Cooldown: 2 seconds.

"We have a sh!tload of them. Not sure if they are taped well in the factory, though..."

Mana cost: enough to be able to launch only 10 missiles in a row.

Nucalar Mines!

"We have so many byoken nucarar missires, because they didn't tape them werr in the factoyy! However, we can stirr use wayheads as mines!" Kim Jong Un places a nuclear mine on the battlefield, which he just pulled out of his fat ***. Mine has 10% chance of activating to explode big time! In 90% of cases though, it just fails and decomposes into duct tape and Gramma's Jelly when stepped upon. Nuclear mines are so big, though, that they are clearly visible to anyone!

Laying nuclear mines is a channelled ability. Channel time: 2 seconds.
Mines last for 30 seconds before failing witout any apparent reason whatsoever.
Cooldown: 1 second after planting a mine.

Mana cost: free?

Nucalar Army!

Kim Jong Un sends his army of 1 (yes, 1) soldier to attack, whom he just pulled out of his fat ***! In 90% of cases, the soldier is armed with a spoon and does only 1 damage. However, in 10% cases, a soldier happens to have a nuclear warhead in his backpack! It's hard to tell which one, though, for the other soldiers filled their backpacks with duct tape and Gramma's Jelly... Explodes on death if equipped with a real nuclear warhead! Huge explosion!

Nucalar soldiers are similar to minions, they just look differently.

Cooldown: 1 second.
Mana cost: enough to send 10 waves.

Heroic Abilities

Nucalar Unicorn!

A triple rainbow appears above Kim Jong Un, and a flying unicorn appears from behind the rainbows. Unicorn flies towards the designated area fairly slowly. Unicorn flies slowly, because unicorn has a nuclear missile up his ***, half of it still visible. Unicorn fights the enemies untill killed. On death, the nuclear missile explodes with 100% probability! "I told you it woyks!"

Cooldown: 90 seconds

I Eat It!

Kim Jong Un serves a nuclear missile he just pulled out of his fat *** for everyone to eat! While eating, anyone who eats is being healed and mana is being replenished to full! That's because they have put Gramma's Jelly instead of uranium in it in factory. Has a 10% chance to explode on setup though, because they run out of Gramma's Jelly sometimes in factory, so they use uranium instead then...

Channeled ability. Channel time: 5 seconds.
Mana cost: 100% of mana
Cooldown: 90 seconds

Special Mount

Mount Unicorn

Kim Jong Un rides a fat unicorn which he just pulled out of his fat ***, with a fat nuclear missile still visible out of fat unicorn's ***. Has a chance of exploding...

Cooldown: 2 seconds out of combat

Mount Nucalar Missire!

Kim Jong Un rides a fat nuclear missile he just pulled out of his fat ***, with a nuclear missile still visible out of fat Kim Jong Un's ***. Has a chance of exploding...

Cooldown: 2 seconds out of combat

Talents

Level 1:

Health Master: Regeneration globes Kim Jong Un gathers increase health regeneration by 0.5% each up to 20%. Quest: After gathering 40 regeneration globes, Kim Jong Un's health is increased by 10%

Mana master: Regeneration globes Kim Jong Un gathers increase mana regeneration by 0.5% each up to 20%. Quest: After gathering 40 regeneration globes, Kim Jong Un's mana pool is increased by 10%

Probability Master: Regeneration globes Kim Jong Un gathers increase I Told You It Woyks! probability by 0.5% each up to 20% maximum. Quest: After gathering 40 regeneration globes, Kim Jong Un's army installs a spy balloon, with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it, enabling Kim Jong Un to see farther permanently.

Level 4:

Moar Nucalar Assault: Detonated nuclear missile from the Nucalar Assault leaves a fallout zone behind, that slowly kills enemies in it over 6 seconds.

Moar Nucalar Mines: Detonated nuclear mine from the Nucalar Mines! leaves a fallout zone behind, that slowly kills enemies in it over 6 seconds.

Moar Nucalar Army: For as long as Nucalar Army is nearby, friendly minions and mercenaries hit 10% harder and are 10% harder to hit.

Level 7:

Espionage: A small zone on the map is successfully disconnected briefly from any outside information. Any enemy minion or mercenary or structure currently in the zone will just stand still for 10 seconds, even while being attacked. Doesn't work on bosses nor on core nor on heroes. Will work on Gazlowe's gadgets though and on hero minions. Cooldown: 30 seconds.

Hack the internet: Kim Jong Un hacks the internet! Enemy heroes have their map blank for 10 seconds and cannot ping! Cooldown: 30 seconds.

Propaganda: Kim Jong Un can convert enemy minion or mercenary or gadget to change sides and fight for Kim Jong Un now! Cooldown: 30 seconds.

Level 10:

Nucalar Unicorn!: See heroic abilities above

I Eat It!: See heroic abilities above

Level 13:

Guided Missiles: The spy balloon being released with the cheap version of iPhone taped to it, nuclear missiles can follow a target now if targeted on an enemy unit.

Guided Mines: The spy balloon being released with the cheap version of iPhone taped to it, nuclear mines can see enemies approach and can start following the closest enemy in range on guided skateboards at 150% speed! The skateboard fails after 10 seconds for no apparent reason, though, leaving some duct tape behind.

Spy Balloon: Kim Jong Un can release his own spy balloon. This enables him to fly over obstacles briefly while having a spy balloon in his hand. The spy balloon explodes inexplicably after 2 seconds though... Cooldown: 12 seconds.

Level 17:

Resistant: Quest: If Kim Jong Un hasn't died so far at all, he will be granted a 20% mana pool size increase permanently.

Resistance is futile: Quest: If Kim Jong Un hasn't killed any enemy hero so far, he will be granted his own spy balloon with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it! Kim Jong Un has 10% more probability now to hit something with nuclear missiles!

Respect Mah Autoritah!: Quest: If Kim Jong Un died at least once so far, he will be granted his own spy balloon with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it! Friendly heroes are more inspired beside Kim Jong Un and his personal spy balloon with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it! Any friendly player near Kim Jong Un and his spy balloon with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it has Unstoppable now for as long as near Kim Jong Un! No, it's not because they're afraid of being executed! It's because Kim Jong Un with a spy balloon with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it is awesome!

Level 20:

H-bomb unicorn!: Nucalar Unicorn! becomes H-bomb unicorn. Detonation of the missile unicorn carries in his *** is doubled in power!

Food Testers: Kim Jong Un has "volunteers" now to test I Eat It! before issued to Kim Jong Un. No more misshaps with I Eat It!

Guided Skateboard: Kim Jong Un, having his own spy balloon with a cheap version of iPhone taped to it now, is granted a guided skateboard that increases speed by 50%. Skateboard inexplicably fails leaving duct tape behind after 10 seconds though. It takes 30 seconds to deliver another guided skateboard to the front. Cooldown: 30 seconds.

Permanent *** Missile: Kim Jong Un has a permanent nuclear missile now up his fat ***. His run speed is permanently increased by 10%!